


Scared of Falling

by Writing Cat and Dog (CrowleyGirl)



Category: Torchwood
Genre: AU, Empathy, Gen, Jack is a dick, No Backstory, Not Canon Compliant, One Shot, Owen actually cares, Sad, Slight gore?, Suicide, hints of Janto, idk tags anymore, janto, rooftop, short & sad, slight Owento
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 23:56:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15784770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowleyGirl/pseuds/Writing%20Cat%20and%20Dog
Summary: Owen caressed his cheek, letting his hand wipe away the streaks of dried tears left to stain Ianto's impossibly pale skin. "You're not a lost cause Ianto."





	Scared of Falling

**Author's Note:**

> So I have this intricate backstory somewhere in my head, but this one-shot was all that came out. For a little clarification, Ianto is an empath in this world. He can feel everyone's worries, sadness, joy, loss, heartbreak, love, hopelessness, and more. It's gotten to the point where he can't differentiate his own emotions anymore. He doesn't know if what he feels is real or just a side effect of someone else's life.
> 
> Trigger warning for dark themes like self-harm and more.

Owen only took a glance at the rickety service elevator before dismissing it as far too slow. Instead, he took the winding stairs two at a time, the metal clanging beneath his footfalls. Second flight, third flight, fourth, sixth. Adrenaline coursed through him, keeping the ache in his still sore leg at bay. His head swam with overwhelming fear; the sensation of drowning filling his chest. So many 'what ifs'-

There it was. The door leading to the rooftop, bolted shut from the outside. Without a second thought, Owen slammed his full body weight into it. It wasn't sturdy, and he could feel the hinges creaking from the force. He rammed into it again. And again. Something pierced his shoulder, but he ignored it as the hinges finally gave way, the whole door falling from its place. 

"Shit. Fuck." He pressed the button on his earset again. "Jack, I swear to God if you don't get here-"

He stopped at the robotic voice telling him that the number was not currently available. Jack had turned off his phone. He had gone with Gwen... Owen wanted to vomit. 

His eyes wildly searched the rooftop, but no one was on that side. Stepping over the fallen door, he raced around the raised pipes to the other end. His breath caught in his throat and he'd only felt this scared when he saw Katie in the operating room.

"Ianto-"

He was sitting on the edge of the roof, legs dangling above the long drop, and eyes trained on the cars racing by below. So far below...

"Ianto, I swear to God-"

Ianto either didn't hear him above the wind, or just plain ignored him. Owen could see how hard his hands clenched the lip of the edge, his knuckles white and chapped. The doctor moved closer until he was only a couple of feet away.

"Don't."

Ianto choked on the word, his voice already raw from screaming. He knew why Owen was there. The doctor wanted to stop him, though why he had no idea.

Owen simply stepped closer. "Don't what? Don't stay here? Don't pull you back? Don't give a fuck that you want to kill yourself?" He was yelling now, the anger and hurt piled up inside of him for so long finally releasing. "I'm not just gonna sit here and let you do it. Ianto, for fuck's sake, I've already lost so many people."

"This is not about you, Owen!"

Blood spilled from the bite wounds in Ianto's lip. His voice, usually so calm and collected, trembled with rage and so much sadness. Owen didn't know how to reply so he simply waited until Ianto took a shuddering breath and spoke again, this time deadly calm.

"I'm sick of living for other people. I can't stand one more minute of it. God, don't you know how much it hurts to feel like you've disappointed everyone because you don't want to live anymore? I see how Gwen and Tosh look at me, like I- I'm some sort of broken appliance that needs to be fixed. They feel so sorry for me and I hate it. And you. You spend so much time acting like you don't give a shit, but I can feel you Owen. You tell me I'm wrong for hurting myself, yet you go out every night and drink and fuck strange women and beat up guys stronger than you in some form of sick self-destruction. I know just how much you care and it makes me want throw up."

He stopped, trembling from the force of his words. "I never wanted to be here in the first place. I just wanted someone to see me-"

Owen sat on the edge next to him. "Ianto, I don't know what the fuck is going through your head right now, but you can't do this. Not now. I'll take you home, I'll clean your cuts again and again, I'll even give you that prescription back if it helps, but there is no way in hell I'm going to have you in my morgue. I'm not going to put all your shitty movies into some locked storage unit. I won't tell your sister that- that you killed yourself. I won't even go to whatever sad funeral you have."

Ianto couldn't cry anymore, he was past that. Owen reached over and yanked his head around so Ianto had no choice but to look him in the eye.

"Honestly, I don't give a fuck what it takes to get you down. I'll do it."

Ianto swallowed heavily. "Owen, I don't want anything from you. I never did."

Owen caressed his cheek, letting his hand wipe away the streaks of dried tears left to stain Ianto's impossibly pale skin. "You're not a lost cause Ianto."

Ianto smiled sadly. "Owen, do you remember what I told you? When you were sitting under your desk with a bottle of scotch drunk out of your mind?"

Owen tried to think, tried to reach back to the days that felt so far away. 

"You said- you said you were scared of falling."

"I was never going to jump, Owen." 

There was more blood dripping from his mouth, but it wasn't from his chewed lip. Owen scanned his body, noting the dilated eyes and recent needle marks in his scarred arm. 

"Ianto. Ianto, what did you do?"

He pulled the younger man's pliant body to safer ground, cradling him in his arms like a child. He called Jack again. "Jack, get the fuck over here!"

Ianto's breaths came in ragged gasps, the effects of whatever poison he had injected into himself already kicking in. "Owen-"

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up. I swear to God if you die I'm never going to forgive you. Don't you dare-" Owen could no longer stop the tears building up behind his eyes. They poured freely down his cheeks to land on Ianto's flickering eyelids.

"I can't- I can't feel them anymore..."

Owen gripped him tighter, burying his face into the younger man's hair. He heard the last, croaking breath as it left Ianto's mouth. Felt him slump in his arms as he died.

"You fucking bastard-"

Jack eventually called. It might have been hours later, but Owen hadn't left the rooftop. He could only run his hands through Ianto's soft hair and cry. It felt like the world was crushing him. He was drowning and it fucking hurt. 

"Owen, what's wrong?" Jack's voice was curt and Owen could hear Gwen chattering away in the background. 

"He- fuck." Owen couldn't get the words out. It was if saying it would make it final. Make Ianto really dead. 

Jack hung up. He knew.

The team arrived shortly. Ianto's now cold body was placed in the back of the SUV and they drove back to the hub in complete silence.

Owen wrote up the morgue report while Gwen and Tosh collected everything Ianto owned. Jack locked himself in his office. They didn't see him for days. 

It was strange to place the tag around Ianto's pale, dead foot. To slid him into the freezer. To slip the paper with his name and dates into the slot. Owen wondered if maybe it was better this way. If Ianto had finally found some peace.

He doubted it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like me to actually write this in full detail, let me know. It would be a massive work and take a lot of time, so I want to be sure people like the sound of it.
> 
> As always, leave a kudo or a comment if you enjoyed it. And if you didn't, let me know why!


End file.
